I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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