and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
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Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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