don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
