i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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