fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
