so explain again why im purple
no
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
