I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I party with great urgency now.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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