is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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