My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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