That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
