How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
