i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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