I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize