Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I can't turn off my feet"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
