He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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