Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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