Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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