People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
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is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..