The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?