kristin has been a bad kristin
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize