she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
