Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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