SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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