hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
