Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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