I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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