The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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