When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
