it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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