you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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