When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
