she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
