I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
