kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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