Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
