i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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