Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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