I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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