VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
