Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
