Little spoons don't ask big questions
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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