After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I can't turn off my feet"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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