I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize