my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
