She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
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