It's Friday. Sex?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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