PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
