And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
