Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
