whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
