You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize