I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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