Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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