fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
