He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
