He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
