He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just invented taco cereal.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
