hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
